Wednesday, 8 November 2017

Happy day 2.0

Okay I don’t think the title is appropriate for today’s entry. It should probably be “Embrassing life of Madihah Ismail 5.2”.

Since it’s the first day after a long weekend, the patient flow was a thousand times more than any other day - especially here in surgery department. (Even on days where there is a strike/the College was empty, this department is never void of patients so yeah)

In the morning everything was fine, did another case of alveoloplasty. I took the lead, having Gizelle as my partner and things went smoothly alhamdulillah. Giving incision with the blade isn’t as scary as I thought, and my continuous interrupted suture looked pretty good (perasan hahaha but really tho).

Then I went for a quick lunch and solat, got a case immediately once I came back to department. Extraction of 26,27,28 and 38 - all decayed and firm. I was pretty pumped up since I’ve never extracted firm 8s before (8s are the wisdom teeth, only interns and postgraduates are allowed to attend such cases).

I took a pretty long time to get it done - LA injection for upper jaw, elevate gums, extract 3 teeth, LA injection for lower jaw, elevate gums, extract the remaining one tooth, file the bone (bone rongeur was not available at that time, so I had to take longer), curettage, copious irrigation and then suturing.

At the time of suturing, I lost my focus. My eyes are looking elsewhere and the needle was going elsewhere, and then that familiar dizziness hits my head, and then *blackout* haha

I managed to sit down before I pass out though. It was embarrassing yet funny at the sims time I don’t know haha. My patient laughed 😂 he’s really nice though, very cooperative haha he even told my friend to tell me “Aram ide, madam” - which means, stay calm, which I’ve repeatedly told him 😂😂

So yeah as always for syncopal attack - glucose water, head down legs up, loosen the clothes. I still had my bloody gloves and drapes all over me 😂

Bila dah settle semua tu, I overheard Nikhil Sir said “....but she did the extractions successfully.”

And heard “Madihah” being mentioned a few times among the staffs hahaha malu deknon adoii

And well, my pg crush was busy with the OPD, I passed out in a different cubicle but they brought me to the chair next to the OPD cubicle. But he was really busy (like I said, the Patient flow was mad today). Bila dah okay tu I was getting ready to go back (got permission to leave early) and then he was like

“You’re leaving?”
Yes, sir
“Why? What happened?”
I passed out while doing a case and Nikhil Sir allowed me to leave early
“Oh god that was you?? I thought it was a third year student or something. Okay then.”

Sampai hati dia taktau pun kita kat cubicle sebelah dia 😭😭😂

But well, it’s a good day. It’s good feeling being tired doing something you enjoy. Segan sikit nak gi clinic esok haha going to sleep already goodnight!

Sunday, 5 November 2017

Happy day.

I don’t usually write when I’m happy but today is an exception. Every year, I look forward to surgery posting because it’s the only department that I really enjoy working in. It is scary though, but I feel like I have a good grasp on the things that I do.

Also, like any other years, I would have a personal favourite postgraduate student and this year was no exception. So basically this post is pretty much about me fangirling over him hahaha.

So It’s my first week in the department now. My roll number is the first one for this batch, so for any cases I’ll always be the first one who have to take up - since I really like this department, I really have nothing to complain about.

I had to do alveoloplasty for the first time ever today, OF COURSE I WAS NERVOUS WHAT THE HELL. But since it’s my first time, the staff assigned a PG to guide me with the procedure, and the PG assigned was my favourite one 😭😍 He’s the nicest sweetest kindest one ever and he remembers my name. He even spelled it correctly on paper I’m shookethh hahaha, seriously impressed.

He went “Hi so what’s your name?”
Me “Madihah, sir”
Him “Madinah?”
Me “MadiHAH”
Him “Madihah?”
Me “Yes”

Once we’re done with the procedure, he saw that on the consent letter I only wrote his name, so he said “You should write your name as well whenever you’re assigned to do a procedure together with another person” and he proceeded with writing my name on the consent form....perfectly. Aduhhhh jatuh cinta hahaha

He asked me if I would like to have a discussion about it. I said I’ll read up on that topic and have the discussion with him next week (EEEEEEK SO EXCITED HAHA ❤️)

I also gave my first IV injection today. First attempt failed, managed to get it right on the second attempt.

And, now I’m by the beach enjoying my long weekend. The day couldn’t get any better. I’m off to bed now goodnight. 

Thursday, 2 November 2017

Farewell.

I’m not close to or attached to anyone here in particular. But living in such a small community, were all like a family. Everyone knows each other well, though you don’t really talk, we have each other’s back. I always call them as my “Little Dharwad family” and that’s really what it feels like.

We’ve known since ages that we’ll be the last Malaysian batch sent here, but out of a sudden, in our final year God send us the amazing 12 boys who somewhat changed the dull atmosphere of the Dharwad community that’s getting smaller. They’re lively, bubbly, they made everyone happy, including me.

Like I said, it’s unfortunate that our goodbye came earlier than expected. Though I might not show it to any of them, I am actually deeply saddened that they have to leave for somewhere else, and I know they do too. The last 3 of them left a week ago.

And tomorrow, the seniors will be leaving. The time we dread the most is finally here - being the very last and only batch here in Dharwad. Once they left, the Dharwad family is left with only 13 members. From 50+ to 40+ to 30+ then to 40+ again and now, 13.

It’s not this place that I’m gonna miss when I leave, it’s all of you, the ones who share the same boat, who saved the stormy oceans together with me. I wish all of you all the best, and I can’t wait to also bid my farewell to this place.

Friday, 6 October 2017

Taking a break.

I never thought that the day would come cause I’m the kind of girl who “never learns”. Got hurt countless times, told myself that all guys are the same but I end giving people chances. The last time I told myself “I’ve had enough” even I didn’t trust myself. I know when someone comes along I’ll recklessly open up again and got hurt again, but not this time.

I’m sick and tired of starting over. The past almost-relationship gave me a real life lesson. Or, ntah lah. Actually it wasn’t all that different, maybe I reached my limit, or maybe more to feeling betrayed. I opened up, and believed that I can finally settle down but well, maybe my time isn’t here yet.

As of now, I’m not interested to meet new people starting over getting to know urgh. I’ll just wait around and see if my time ever comes. 

Saturday, 30 September 2017

One more thank you please.

Okay so my previous post, that wasn’t the original post I drafted in my brain. As always once I start writing I deviate from my main topic at hand lol.

What I wanted to blog about was how differently I feel after passing the toughest exam I’ve ever had in my life, after securing the long-anticipated “Dr.” Prefix on my name.

Like I said, the road wasn’t easy. I nearly quit countless times. I was determined to quit up to the extend where I applied for another course, went for online interview and got accepted but something deep in my heart asked me to stay, and your heart can never really go wrong. I can’t be more thankful to be where I am today.

This achievement reminds me of what it feels like to have my heart beating again, I feel like my soul has finally eee trees my body, I’m finally able to feel.....happy. It feels like I’m on fire. The great feeling makes me want to achieve more and greater things in life. If you asked me before of what’s my future plan, I’d say “If I can secure a job with my BDS degree then this is where I stop.” But now, I’m motivated to go either for an MDS or specialisation, to venture more into this field.

The thought of wanting to settle down makes me nauseous. I’ve got so much more to do I ain’t ready for that.