This is so stressful. I'm in no control of my emotions. I breakdown for every single little thing. When I say "nak nangis" tu bukan kata kosong, I actually did feel like crying. I can't talk to my family, every time I complain something to any of my siblings, I would feel the lump in my throat, my eyes get hot and then tears will fall. I'm very grumpy ever since day one, and then it gets better but today I experience another major emotional volcanic eruption. I fired my classmate cause he pushed me and didn't say sorry, lunch food was just unappetizing, went back home, mengadu dekat Cicik and cried. Skipped evening meal, skipped dinner.
I've been sleeping all night, checked the flight ticket, excited dah nak beli ticket balik then I realised the lembab ICICI bank still haven't issued our credit cards. My sisters back home are all sound asleep, so yeah I couldn't buy the tickets. Now I feel like crying, again. I wanna go home. This place is hell, full of uncivilised, rude people. Can't say they're stupid cause they are smart somehow (if you call memorising each and every sentence from the text book smart).
I can't sleep, I don't wanna study, I don't wanna eat. I just wanna curl up and cry until I get to go back to Malaysia. I wan my comfy bed and comforter, I want my beautiful room, I wanna hug my sisters and uda and my brothers, I wanna kiss my nieces.
I should have chosen my other option. "Choosing India cause it'll make me a better dentist" my ass, you can't even study now.
Sigh.
I actually thought things are getting bettter. I don't know what triggered this. When people ask what's wrong, I don't know how to say it. Everything. Everything is wrong here.
I wanna cry. I wanna go back home :(
I've been sleeping all night, checked the flight ticket, excited dah nak beli ticket balik then I realised the lembab ICICI bank still haven't issued our credit cards. My sisters back home are all sound asleep, so yeah I couldn't buy the tickets. Now I feel like crying, again. I wanna go home. This place is hell, full of uncivilised, rude people. Can't say they're stupid cause they are smart somehow (if you call memorising each and every sentence from the text book smart).
I can't sleep, I don't wanna study, I don't wanna eat. I just wanna curl up and cry until I get to go back to Malaysia. I wan my comfy bed and comforter, I want my beautiful room, I wanna hug my sisters and uda and my brothers, I wanna kiss my nieces.
I should have chosen my other option. "Choosing India cause it'll make me a better dentist" my ass, you can't even study now.
Sigh.
I actually thought things are getting bettter. I don't know what triggered this. When people ask what's wrong, I don't know how to say it. Everything. Everything is wrong here.
I wanna cry. I wanna go back home :(
1 comment:
Don't lah cry :( . You can get through this. Be brave and bold. Like Batman! Just act strong there, and then when you come home you can be as weak as you want. Can cry to us and expect to kena pujuk.
Don't cry okay?
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