I'm not me anymore.

This place has changed me a lot, in the negative way. I hate it. I hate it so much. Just now we were called by the super seniors, telling how disrespectful and ignorant we are. God, they ARE rude and harsh. They make me wanna curse all the really bad words. I'm totally pissed off, but somehow they made me realise something. 

I've changed. I used to be the girl who always smiles, at my family and friends, teachers and lecturers, juniors and seniors, cleaners and bus drivers, acquaintance and even strangers. I used to be the kind of girl who takes almost everything lightly, I didn't get mad all that easily. I didn't cry a lot, I've always been the happy girl. Maybe I do think highly of myself, maybe I've an ego problem, most probably cause I don't like the place, I'm not happy here.

I should take a big turn. I should start looking at things from a different view. I should find the smiles again and work on my facial muscles. I should try to be the happy girl again, who looks at everything from the positive side, who makes the most ridiculous things fun, who's always carefree and enjoying life.

I want my family and my best friends here. How can I be happy with this big hole in my heart, missing them so much? :(