Although I am broken my heart is untamed, still.

"It is when you open your heart to accept things the way it is, that's when you'll get to see what exactly He wants to show to you."

"Two most important lessons we all will get from here is patience and to be grateful."

"You won't feel happy nor grateful if you keep wanting more, if you keep being envious of others."

"You just have to be positive. Look for something good in everything."

Bull's eye man. My tears were pooling up when we had that conversation. That's all that I'm not. I've tried to open up my heart to accept this place but all that very willingly determined, I keep thinking of the other option that I didn't pick, I keep asking myself why I'm here and not there, keep wishing one day I'll wake up to a better place. Instead of teaching me to be patient I'm losing it here, instead of looking for good things in everything I do otherwise.

Nothing that happened in this life is a coincident. That random topic blurted out by Kak Onie didn't happen just because. Maybe it's His way of talking to me, to soothe me. How sweet is He to me, His arrogant servant who always find excuses on doing deeds?

Ya Allah, ihdinas sirat al-mustaqim.

Ya Allah, rabbana la tuzigh quloobana ba'da idh hadaytana wa hab lana milladunka rahmah innaka antal wahhab.