When you have a crush on someone and they're absent for 3 days in a row you just give up on liking him -.-'
I've been climbing in early since the past few days, gone by 12. But today I was so tired so I took a nap earlier and now I'm awake and don't know what to do, I just finished revising some anatomy stuffs though. So here comes the urge of writing a long post of craps but I don't really have much things to write about. Like when my friends ask "What's up" I really don't know what to say cause my life has really really been that dull. At the moment, while writing this, I can't get my eyes off of my laptop wallpaper, a slideshow of all my favourite boys. When will I get to see them? Will I ever get to see them? The deaths at FMFA scares the hell out of me, but really the one and only concert I wanna go to is the One Direction's. One of the girls is actually someone I know, a best friend to a very very dear friend of mine. And no, she didn't die because of overdose of meth drug, she was tricked into having it. The media is terrible, they write whatever they want, don't they ever think about the dead's living family? Their friends and loved ones? How selfish. But whatever, the most important thing is people who matter know exactly what happened, rest in peace Fizza. She was about to get married, and that freaked me out even more. I mean, it's very hard to find your significant other, and when the time was already very close for you two to be bound by the beautiful bond of marriage, God decided that you guys are not meant for each other, one of you just had to leave, forever. One reason why I'm good having only my family and best friends around me. Of course, everyone will experience death, but I know God won't burden someone with something more than s/he could bear and I know I wouldn't be able to face such burdens so I believe God won't give me such tests. Someone asked me "Weh bila kita nak ada boyfriend ni" and another friend stated "Aku takut lah kalau tak kahwin" and to all that, the only thing I could answer is "Kalau ada, ada lah weh" cause betul lah kan, if someone is meant for you, one day you'll find a way to get to each other but if it's the other way round, maybe you'll be united in the afterlife. I'm hardly bothered by the couple/marriage topics, I'm always very neutral, though of course at times you'd wish you have that special someone to share stuffs with but for all that, I have 3 brothers who will always listen to my rants, 3 sisters who are always always there for me despite the different time zones we're in, my aunt though she hardly answers the phone call, my best friends who are never tired of my same old stories of the depressing life of a dental student. I don't see/feel the need of having another guy in my life, to make me feel dependent and clingy, to make me feel insecure about everything, to make me feel scared with the thought of "what if he cheat on me what if one day he'll just walk away cause I'm not good enough", to burden me with heartless miseries. I'm sated with my life now, happy just the way I am. Despite the thousand of miles that separates me and my loved ones, I could really feel their love, even more than when I was just an hour drive away from home. It's hard, missing them, but that's just life. To achieve something, most of the time you've to sacrifice something. Whatever happens, I just wish that by the time I graduate, I'd have all of them to attend my graduation day. I wonder how my family would have expanded by then, wonder if the time will ever come, wonder if I will make it that far. Hopefully I will, amin. I think it's long enough, and I'm starting to feel sleepy. Let's see who would read this long pointless blog post up to the very last fullstop, and if you are one of them, thank you for caring about me (cause you know how people say stalking is caring from the stalker's point of view so yeah let me flatter myself) I'm trying to get back all my self-confidence cause being a girl with low self esteem is too mainstream. Every girls say they're not pretty and fat while in fact they just want someone to tell them "No you're not ugly, you're pretty and you're not fat you're cute just the way you are" which I would vomit if anyone ever say that to me so let's just try to find my old vain self who would say all the compliments to herself. Okay fine I think I'm done for real. Oh yeah by the way, Rose Day is coming soon and I really really can't wait to take another picture with him since gambar time Holi Festival we were both so comot. Hikhok bye bye xoxo goodnight uolls, goodnight the hot super sexy Louis Tomlinson and gorgeous greekgodlike Harry Styles and the baby face so cute Niall Horan and the amazayn Zayn Malik (can't wait to see his wedding reception with Perrie! cepatlah kahwin woii walaupun lepas tu nanti aku patah hati tapi takpe ada 4 orang lagi, and dekat sini pun ada Zayn Malik sorang lagi hahahahah k) and the keep-getting-hotter-day-after-day Liam Payne. I'll see you guys one day! (determined 12-year-old directioner) Okay bye bye bye byebyebyeb yebeybeyeb
I've been climbing in early since the past few days, gone by 12. But today I was so tired so I took a nap earlier and now I'm awake and don't know what to do, I just finished revising some anatomy stuffs though. So here comes the urge of writing a long post of craps but I don't really have much things to write about. Like when my friends ask "What's up" I really don't know what to say cause my life has really really been that dull. At the moment, while writing this, I can't get my eyes off of my laptop wallpaper, a slideshow of all my favourite boys. When will I get to see them? Will I ever get to see them? The deaths at FMFA scares the hell out of me, but really the one and only concert I wanna go to is the One Direction's. One of the girls is actually someone I know, a best friend to a very very dear friend of mine. And no, she didn't die because of overdose of meth drug, she was tricked into having it. The media is terrible, they write whatever they want, don't they ever think about the dead's living family? Their friends and loved ones? How selfish. But whatever, the most important thing is people who matter know exactly what happened, rest in peace Fizza. She was about to get married, and that freaked me out even more. I mean, it's very hard to find your significant other, and when the time was already very close for you two to be bound by the beautiful bond of marriage, God decided that you guys are not meant for each other, one of you just had to leave, forever. One reason why I'm good having only my family and best friends around me. Of course, everyone will experience death, but I know God won't burden someone with something more than s/he could bear and I know I wouldn't be able to face such burdens so I believe God won't give me such tests. Someone asked me "Weh bila kita nak ada boyfriend ni" and another friend stated "Aku takut lah kalau tak kahwin" and to all that, the only thing I could answer is "Kalau ada, ada lah weh" cause betul lah kan, if someone is meant for you, one day you'll find a way to get to each other but if it's the other way round, maybe you'll be united in the afterlife. I'm hardly bothered by the couple/marriage topics, I'm always very neutral, though of course at times you'd wish you have that special someone to share stuffs with but for all that, I have 3 brothers who will always listen to my rants, 3 sisters who are always always there for me despite the different time zones we're in, my aunt though she hardly answers the phone call, my best friends who are never tired of my same old stories of the depressing life of a dental student. I don't see/feel the need of having another guy in my life, to make me feel dependent and clingy, to make me feel insecure about everything, to make me feel scared with the thought of "what if he cheat on me what if one day he'll just walk away cause I'm not good enough", to burden me with heartless miseries. I'm sated with my life now, happy just the way I am. Despite the thousand of miles that separates me and my loved ones, I could really feel their love, even more than when I was just an hour drive away from home. It's hard, missing them, but that's just life. To achieve something, most of the time you've to sacrifice something. Whatever happens, I just wish that by the time I graduate, I'd have all of them to attend my graduation day. I wonder how my family would have expanded by then, wonder if the time will ever come, wonder if I will make it that far. Hopefully I will, amin. I think it's long enough, and I'm starting to feel sleepy. Let's see who would read this long pointless blog post up to the very last fullstop, and if you are one of them, thank you for caring about me (cause you know how people say stalking is caring from the stalker's point of view so yeah let me flatter myself) I'm trying to get back all my self-confidence cause being a girl with low self esteem is too mainstream. Every girls say they're not pretty and fat while in fact they just want someone to tell them "No you're not ugly, you're pretty and you're not fat you're cute just the way you are" which I would vomit if anyone ever say that to me so let's just try to find my old vain self who would say all the compliments to herself. Okay fine I think I'm done for real. Oh yeah by the way, Rose Day is coming soon and I really really can't wait to take another picture with him since gambar time Holi Festival we were both so comot. Hikhok bye bye xoxo goodnight uolls, goodnight the hot super sexy Louis Tomlinson and gorgeous greekgodlike Harry Styles and the baby face so cute Niall Horan and the amazayn Zayn Malik (can't wait to see his wedding reception with Perrie! cepatlah kahwin woii walaupun lepas tu nanti aku patah hati tapi takpe ada 4 orang lagi, and dekat sini pun ada Zayn Malik sorang lagi hahahahah k) and the keep-getting-hotter-day-after-day Liam Payne. I'll see you guys one day! (determined 12-year-old directioner) Okay bye bye bye byebyebyeb yebeybeyeb
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