I'm too weak. I fall too easily for the world. It was so easy for me to change my appearance, I was working on my internal spiritual stuffs but I guess I don't work hard enough. My weak spirits have taken down my physical strength with it.
"Worrying about something wouldn't change a thing" I don't know what I could do. I pray, but not very whole-heartedly, it makes me frustrated. I recite the Quran, but never really quite eager to learn its beautiful meaning. I still commit countless sins, it's heartbreaking.
I know, I believe, I have full faith that Islam is the religion. I believe in my syahadah with no buts no nothing, I don't have a single doubt. These weird feeling in my heart, maybe it's His way of telling asking me to come back to Him.
I tried but I'm too weak, my love for dunia is too great. How, how do I detach myself from this insidious love, how do I detach whatever heavy load that's clinging on my heart, how do I get back to You Dear Lord?
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