It's crazy how people can istiqamah. Of course they've their ups and downs but their downest down are never downer to their jahiliah self. For me, right now, it has been going down and down and down.
I'm not gonna start preaching on social networks (like how I used to a few years ago when I started to change). I don't think it's a good idea. Well in a way, maybe it is. Like you can't really (you can, if you're bold enough) to preach from people to people in real life, to share your knowledge. But thing is when it involves social networks, another problem arises; riak, takbur, you want fame, you want to be known, when people praise you for a really good post, especially now that hijab and Islamic stuffs are the in-thing. (Didn't mean it in the bad way) but you get what I mean right.
So I'll try to change, yet again and again, and I hope I won't get tired of it. And not let the world knows and judge.
Well this blog, it's a whole different story haha. Not many people come here. The people who come here are those who wanna know about me, my best friends and (maybe) family too. But you've to come here, it doesn't just pass across your feed. Like Instagram and Twitter.
See how random late midnight thoughts can be? And see how my jahiliah can go down to obsessing over snogging one direction boys backstage to thinking about death and God and heaven?
The jahiliah self, I really really need to get rid of it. Sorry boys. I really really really love you guys but I gotta let it go, little by little. But you'll always be a part that I remember. When I'm married with kids and grandkids, I would tell them "See this boy band over here? I used to love them with all my heart. They're five real good looking hunks who can sing so damn well their voice almost made me pregnant."
Hahahaha alright bye.
I'll try to change. I promise. I'll try my best. Inshallah. Goodnight ❤️
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