Ignore this.

I should stop complaining, I know. Complaining simply means I'm not thankful. I don't why I'm always so stressed out lately. It's not like there's anything to be stressed about.

The trial? It's in a month. AS? It's in mid May. I don't know why. My eyes are starry almost all the time. Whenever I can't answer a question, tears roll up in my eyes. Especially a simple one. It makes me feel stupid. Like "TAKKAN SOALAN NI PUN KAU TAK RETI JAWAB?!!". You know that feeling?

Sometimes I just feel so lost in the class, I can hear what the lecturers say but I can hardly listen to them. My focus went astray. Maybe it's a test for me. Maybe this is the price that I have to pay for my sins. Hati dah gelap kot, banyak tak terkira buat dosa.

Even now I can feel the tears are forming and the dam can burst at any moment. Ya Allah, kuatkanlah imanku, tabahkanlah hatiku, permudahkanlah segala urusanku. Jauhkanlah aku dari godaan syaitan yang sentiasa cuba menggoyahkan imanku, peliharalah aku hambaMu yang lemah ini. Amin ya rabbal alamin :'(

I'm sorry for all the rants and depressing posts since the past few days or weeks. I just....can't hold it all inside :(