Because I care.

I know it's my fault since the start. Growing apart more and more each day, I know I have to do something, I know exactly what I should do, but why didn't I? One thing. Ego problem.

The guilt had been hovering me months, yet I choose to ignore it. I'd been telling myself, it'd be just fine. We were okay, maybe this is just one of those days, we'll be good again.

After sometime, I realise how much I miss you. How I haven't had a real conversation with you for ages. We might not be best friends but we're very close friends. We shared a lot of things, we did a lot together, you helped me through thick and thin, mentally and physically. Honestly, knowing you is one of the best blessings in my life. You're such a great friend.

This morning I drafted a sorry text, I was hesitating if I should tap send. Then, thankfully, my sanity told my ego "You, piss off. Not letting you win again this time." so I tapped send, out of humbleness, for the sake of out friendship that I really treasure.

I know exactly where I went wrong and I'll make it up to you one day. I promise. I'll visit you in England with my very own money just to prove that I care, I appreciate our friendship and the things you've done for me, and I know it'll be worth it. I promise I'll try my best to do so. Inshaallah by next year, or maybe end of next year.

I miss you :') ❤

*continuation - more related to the title*

This time, I know it's my fault. I know what I should do. And she is one very good friend it'd be such a loss to lose one because of my stupid ego problem.

Some other time, even when I know it's not my fault, I don't mind being the one who tries to fix things. But after sometime, I get tired, everyone gets tired. It's like, if I don't go and talk to you, you won't talk to me. It's like I only exist when you have a problem kan?

Like maybe this time, I'll be the other person. I'll try not to care. I'm done trying. I'm done being the one who care.