As much as I hate writing using this mobile site of Blogger, today I just had to. It just feels like there isn't anyone I can talk to, or feel like talking to, or feel like I've anyone who's willing to listen to all these craps.
It doesn't feel like I'm all stressed out ke apa, but I know it's there. I'm aware that my brain cells never stop working, even when I sleep my dreams revolve around not getting patients and being in the clinic. I'm aware that all the muscles in my body are tensed. I'm aware of the growing headache and the tears welling up trying not to burst.
It's not something that anyone in a different field would understand. People say final year is the year where you'll be soaked with tears and blood, I should've been mentally prepared for this but apparently obviously I am not. It makes me miss my mom. It's not like she would understand but I heard people say mom always know what to say. It might be true or it might not, how would I know. Maybe it's just a deviation that my brain takes, as a normal human being you always want something you can put the load on.
Maybe I just want someone to miss. I just want to validate this empty feeling I get but convincing myself it's her that I miss. Or I don't know. This post is crap. Basically, the whole point is I feel like shit and I'm on my own.
It doesn't feel like I'm all stressed out ke apa, but I know it's there. I'm aware that my brain cells never stop working, even when I sleep my dreams revolve around not getting patients and being in the clinic. I'm aware that all the muscles in my body are tensed. I'm aware of the growing headache and the tears welling up trying not to burst.
It's not something that anyone in a different field would understand. People say final year is the year where you'll be soaked with tears and blood, I should've been mentally prepared for this but apparently obviously I am not. It makes me miss my mom. It's not like she would understand but I heard people say mom always know what to say. It might be true or it might not, how would I know. Maybe it's just a deviation that my brain takes, as a normal human being you always want something you can put the load on.
Maybe I just want someone to miss. I just want to validate this empty feeling I get but convincing myself it's her that I miss. Or I don't know. This post is crap. Basically, the whole point is I feel like shit and I'm on my own.
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