Sunday, 14 May 2023

More thoughts.

 I’m juggling my emotions as they are pretty unstable right now. I’ve been anxious, but then I’ll think of our previous session and it helped calm me down, then after a while the anxiety struck again.

Looking at it from a fresher perspective, it’s good that I manage to stay grounded when the anxiety provoking thought appear.

I do feel like I am attached to him at this point, the thing that keeps me grounded is his voice in my head. This time around, instead of being anxious, I feel alright. I repeat his words in my head “It’s okay to need support.” 

This is probably what a healthy relationship feels like. As if my bar isn’t already too high, it’s higher now. Of course I hope as time goes by, the only validation and reassurances that I need are my own. At the same time, I know I can’t have someone who can’t provide for me the consistency, stability and security.

As for tonight, I’ll keep all the disturbing thoughts in my Fluffy and put them aside for now, and to remind myself to stay grounded, to know that everything is under control. All is good.

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