I hate this.

I hate this place, yes. I hate KTT. I used to love it so much when Kak Zue and Kak Ummi was around. Now, I feel empty here. True that here is where learn so so many things about life, but it's not a place where I can be myself. If any of my KTT friends are reading this, no offence, that's just what I feel.

Not that I'm being fake, it's just....I can't be myself. People here are VERY nice, too nice that I can't cope with it. Betul, environment sangat baik untuk I terus istiqamah in changing for the better, but it has become too stressful now. I can't talk to them anymore. I can't share things with them anymore. Cause yeah, I admit that they're still jahiliah in me. I still care about urusan dunia and I still talk useless stuffs, which I know are not good. When around them, the only thing we talk about are ukhrawi stuffs.

I can't handle it anymore. I need my best friends who understand me at my best and my worst. Not people who give me that judging look, or just that I-dont-care look when I wanna say something. It sucks. I want my family, I want my friends. It's too sucky here I feel terribly homesick.

I want my sisters and my brothers. I want Atul. I want Kak Zue and Kak Ummi. I want Aqilahs, all three of you. I want Erin. I want Haris. I want Syera. I want all my best friends here. I can't stand this anymore :'(