Age vs Maturity

I had an argument with a man of almost 60 years old. I know I shouldn't have, I know I should've respected him and agreed with whatever he said but well I'm not that kind of a person. Respect doesn't come with age, respect is something you earn not given.

Despite him being 40 years older than me, it surely feels like I've experienced more in life than he does. Despite me being in my twenties, I've learned a lot about life - the hard way, thanks to the exact same old man I'm talking about. Despite you not being there to teach me about how to handle life, you left me alone and let the universe taught me what is life.

Maybe that's where I should thank you. Thank you for leaving me in the phase of life where I needed you the most, thank you for letting me experience the bitter part of life which makes me who I am right now, thank you for showing me the kind of a man I wouldn't ever want to get involved with.

There aren't many things you personally taught me in life but one thing I surely wouldn't forget is the saying "Jadi lah macam pokok yang rendang, bila orang campak apa-apa dekat kita, kita bagi dia buah" I guess it's not so easy to practise what you preach eh?

It's so easy to say when something doesn't happen to you, when it does, you come up with all kinds of excuses to nullify the saying you always quoted.

Grow up, open up your heart. Berhenti lah cari salah orang lain. Muhasabah diri. Cari salah sendiri. What you experience now is a consequence of what you did in the past, tapi you don't realise it. In case you didn't realise, never once did you say sorry for what you did. I've forgiven you even then. I opened up my heart, lower down my ego and forgive you - something I promised myself I'll never ever let happen. Why can't you do the same? Why can't you open up your heart and terima your kids sebaiknya? Yes, of course we can't treat you like how other people treat their fathers, because their fathers raised them and our didn't. You didn't. You left, and then you came back and expect your kids to love you and be there for you all the time?

I don't know what you expect from your kids. I don't know why you always have to hurt us, say things to annoy us. Ilmu agama tinggi, tau kan dosa biar kan your daughter menangis for what you did?

Sigh.