Alhamdulillah I’m in a better state now, mentally. I’m having acute tonsillitis since last night, but physical pain>>>mental pain lol. My schedule has been packed, so I think this (the acute tonsillitis) is bound to happen. I haven’t had it in a while, so its about time.
So anyway, that’s not the main reason why I’m here. I’m here because…..I swear to god my life is a joke. When you’re a Madihah, weird days don’t even faze you anymore, so I do not exaggerate when I said I had the weirdest Sunday ever.
Okay, it was supposed to be a typical Sunday of a typical weekend. Spent Saturday with my family, had dinner together, stayed over at an AirBnB. I packed all my climbing gears, spare clothes and whatever necessary for a typical Sunday where I would go climb with Marc. Well, there was one thing that is a bit out of the ordinary. After climbing with Marc, I planned a climbing date with someone I met online.
I left my bag of spare clothes and I can’t possibly go on a dinner date post climbing (the original plan I had in mind) so after climbing, Marc and I had lunch and he accompanied me to get a new top from Uniqlo. (We got lost in One Utama looking for Brands Outlet cause I just wanna get ‘something cheap’ but I couldn’t find anything I like there and Marc was like, “Madihah, we both know deep in our hearts where the top that you want is.” So yeah, Uniqlo it is)
Here’s where I started being a petty bitch.
I know for a fact that people often get lost in 1Utama, especially looking for Camp5. I did the first time. So whenever I were to bring a guest, I always direct them on where to park. “Go to Level 5, find the green pillars (rainforest) and when you enter the building, the entrance of Camp5 will be on your right.” So when I get a text saying “I just parked” I expected to have to only wait for another 3 minutes, but I waited almost 20 minutes and he said “Where is it I can’t find it.” So I was like “Didn’t you park where I asked you to?” To which he replied “Oh I’m at the basement parking, I missed the entrance of the other parking space so I just park wherever.” At that point I was so annoyed (judge me all you want, I know I’m a petty bitch) but anyways, though annoyed, I was still nice. I asked him to wait wherever he was, and went to get him.
From then on, I just know, it was off. I hate myself sometimes for being so petty but I can’t help it. When I’m attracted, I’m attracted and when I’m not, I just am not. All I wanted to do was to escape but I can’t just like “Hey, I had to go” right. It was 330pm, so I immediately told him “We’ll climb until max 530 or 5pm yeah? I’m a bit knackered. I’ve been climbing from 10am actually.” And he was like yeah sure okay. I don’t mean to be mean but the vibe was just……off. I don’t ever remember feeling so trapped in a situation. It’s not like he’s a creep or anything, he’s alright but just not the kind of person I vibe with. I keep on asking him to climb (while I belay) just to avoid having a conversation. The part where I said I was knackered, I actually meant it so I wasn’t really in the mood to have “small talks”.
5 minutes to 5pm, I told him “Hey, would you be okay if this is your last climb? Cause I’m so tired I just wanna go back and rest.”
“Oh you’re going back right away? We’re not having dinner together?” He looked surprised, because well I think though we didn’t make a proper plan to have dinner together, he might have mentioned about it.
“Oh yeah no I’m sorry I didn’t expect to feel this tired. Plus it’s Sunday night, tomorrow is a work day so I just wanna rest before the week started.” I really tried my best to make it sound genuine, I’m not sure how it came out.
“Not even for coffee? It’s on me. We didn’t even get to talk much today.” At this point I just wanted to scream NO I DONT WANT TO SPEND ANOTHER MINUTE WITH YOU (omg I’m so mean, am i not? Ergh)
Of course I didn’t. I politely declined and said that’s not the reason at all. After his last climb, I straight away said “Okay, jom” He dropped off the rental gears and out of courtesy I asked “Do you know where you’re parked?” And he was like “Yeah yeah don’t worry.” So I was like “Okay, bye!” Feeling so relieved.
“Eh no no, let me at least walk you to your car.” Oh my god
“Eh no it’s totally fine. I’m used to this place it’s alright.” But he insisted, and my car was literally 10 steps away so I was like okay okay. Before sending me off he did say about meeting up again (not climbing) so that we can talk properly, lol.
In the car, I feel so relieved, again. Hoping that this time its for real.
Then I realised I didn’t even wash my hands and feet, I didn’t even have a glance at the mirror to see how I looked like, I didn’t even change, but after he mentioned coffee, I felt like having coffee, just not with him. So I drove to the street in TTDI where there were few coffee shops I’m familiar with. I was on the phone with my best friend telling her about the very bad date (on my side, totally my bad) while driving.
And though this story has been pretty lengthy, this is the weirdness is centred at.
I saw a guy wearing a black polo shirt coming out of a BMW which looked very familiar,. When looked at my direction and we made eye contact, mind instantly went “fuck.” It was my ex-almost. The one I had such an intense feeling for despite only dating him for over 4 months, but our story ended more than 2 years ago, so we’re cool? I guess?
I rolled down my window and said hi. “Where are you going?” He asked.
“I feel like having coffee, going to one of the cafes here. You?”
“I’m going to Ini/Itu (a coffee shop owned by their friend so its really where their circle hang out at).” All of this conversation happened while I was still driving at a very slow speed. “Weh you go find a parking first la!”
Took me just a second to find a parking (I call myself a VIP cause I always get a good parking spot even at the busiest place on busy day - I hope I don’t jinx it). I didn’t expect him to wait for me, but he did. So we head to the coffee shop together.
I ordered my coffee first while he was socialising with a group of people at this one table, when looking for a table to sit at, I saw my crush ._.
He was so cute my heart skipped a beat, and my brain was totally confused.
Okay here’s a back story. A few nights ago I texted Marc asking him about this crush of mine, they’re good friends. Two days before this bumping into him incident, I replied to his instastory complimenting his music taste. So seeing him there, I was just…I don’t know, I was excited, but I was still trying to get it in my head that I’m here with my ex-almost, and now my crush is here too like….what?
He saw me too, so we exchanged a “hey, how are you”s. He asked “Who are you here with?”
“I actually just wanna buy coffee somewhere here, then I bumped into Him coming here so I joined him he lah.”
“I see, I’m actually waiting for him to come la ni.” Pointing to an empty chair on the table.
Fuck.
I knew they know each other, I had no idea they are this close. I brushed it off and tried to be okay with this situation I was in.
“Do you mind if I join you guys? Or are you guys discussing something important ke apa?”
“Eh no sure sure come join us.”
Then He joined the table too. Thankfully it wasn’t so bad (I believe it could be worse). Seeing You and Him side by side, I realise I have a huge massive crush on my crush, and I totally have no feelings for Him anymore. He has a beautiful smile, his teeth straight with an acceptable slight midline diastema, he has a soft voice, I just….I think I really like him.
But he’s my ex-almost’s very good friend.
So, I’m contemplating if I should make any move.
As of now, I’m manifesting him to DM me hahahahah oh my god. I can’t stop thinking about this, about him. Good Lord, if my life really is a romcom, let You and me be the main character. Haha aduhh
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