I don't care anymore.

Or maybe I do that's why I blog about it. Maybe I don't. Or maybe I do but I try to convince myself that I don't. Or maybe I really don't?

It's tiring you know, being bothered by the thought of when will I (if I ever will) find my other half? Will I ever find someone who makes my heart beats faster than when I listen to Harry's voice? Will I ever find someone who makes my heart flutter as when I read news/rumours about Zayn Malik? Will I ever find someone whom I'll obsess over the way I'm obsessed with Louis Tomlinson? Will I ever find someone who's so carefree, enjoying life to the fullest like Niall Horan? Or someone who treats his girl like the prettiest girl in the world though she's not all that pretty, the way Liam Payne treats Sophia?

Will I ever find someone who I'll love more than I love these boys?

I doubt, and if I really do end up my life unmarried, I'll blame all 5 of them. 

Okay to wish to marry any one of them would be like wishing to be able to count all the leaves on all the trees in the jungle.

Moving on to real life, I really don't see any future in my love life. A friend asked "you must've been in a relationship before right?" And I said no, she was like "seriously? You must've guys lining up, hitting on you right?" Oh well I wish I could say yes to that question. I wish I still think I'm pretty. Have you ever broken down all of a sudden, realising how such an ugly girl you are? I never thought that that could happen to me. I'm always so full of myself I didn't know there's this part of me in me. Hmph