Priorities.

 I don’t think this is worth an entry, it doesn’t annoy me that much, or it kinda does but not really? Idk.

I’m no saint, but when family or a friend needs my help, I usually try my very best to help them. Sometimes it’s at the expense of me cancelling something I’ve planned for a while, at the expense of me postponing something I’ve been looking forward to, at the expense of sacrificing the little time I have left to rest considering my very packed schedule.

I also realise that when I need help, just a simple favour of dropping me off at the immigration office at 730am, no one was around to help me. “Sorry I have to see a friend that morning.”

That makes me realise, over and again (lol), that I’m no one’s priority. Why do I even bother asking people for help when all my life, I’ve been doing things on my own. Jokes on you, madsterz. Anyway, I drove to the immigration by myself and everything was surprisingly very smooth, nothing like that the Google review said. Alhamdulillah.

Now the table is turned where you need my help. I helped you once, it wasn’t very convenient for me to do so but I did anyways, and I was okay with it. I didn’t mind it. You asked for my help again, at the wrong timing which I asked you to remind me, which you didn’t, which I had forgotten due to the chaotic morning - it’s audit day for my clinic.

When you asked me about it, I said exactly that. You didn’t remind me, I forgot. “I’ve loads of things to do in the morning I didn’t have the time to remind you.” I hate to break this to you, you aren’t the only one with crazy schedule. “Do you want to help me or not? If you don’t want to then fine.”

As if I intentionally didn’t wanna help, as if I don’t have a day job which help me to pay my bills. This made me realise how shitty are the people I prioritise in my life. People who never appreciate me, people who never prioritise me, people who only look for me when it’s convenient.

You only have you, Madihah. You’re not on anyone’s priority list. Sedar diri sikit.